Of course, nothing is ever simple, and the wide awake amongst you will have noticed the 2.5 hour delivery time. There is a very simple logic with shipping containers - if it is loaded by a fork lift or pallet truck, then it can be unloaded by the same device. Likewise, if it is loaded by hand, it will probably need to be unloaded by hand. Guess which category a 1 ton stainless steel fermenting vessel falls into.... So, given that we didn't have 20 plus spare chinamen, we had to drag it forcibly out the back of the container with the large farm loader thingy that lives on site. Except of course the tank wouldn't have stood the drop out of the container, so we dragged it out and onto twon metal runners placed on a pile of pallets on the back of our flatbed dray. Which is about as stable as a High Street Bank.... Sounds simple, but it really, really wasn't. Especially as much of the pulling was done with all eyes shut.... Anyway, George the lorry driver has been declared the Most Helfpul Man On The Planet for October. In fact, if Gordon Bennet really gave up his £2 million pension on entering No. 10 (as noted this week to GQ magazine and the BBC), then I say he should give some of it to George.
It took until the 2 November before anyone was brave enough to make an attempt on the east face of the brewery. The tank itself is on it's side to fit the container, but when upright, is too tall to go through our door. The farm's loader is more than capable of standing the tank up, but not once it is inside the brewery. You may therefore be understanding the dilema. Now add in the fact that the Chinese made the tank to the size of the door, not to fit through the door, and your are checking you are not one our 'Phone A Friend' list (don't worry, you're not, unless your name is Rob...). But, panic not! I though of this, so deliberate shrank the dimensions of the door. Phew! Errr, no. You see, the tank has various bits sticking out the sides. And these bits are wider than the door... But, if we twist the tank round in its cradle, all the bits that stick out won't foul the door frame. Voila!
Now I should add at this point, that on paper, it was all fine. The tank would just lift out on the farm's loader thingy, the cradle would be big and robust, making up-ending the vessel in the brewery a doddle with an ordinary fork lift. But there is no big robust cradle, just a fairly low grade small metal cradle that is hardly any use at all...
So, on Monday 2 November, the tank slid in through the door. Ok, so the clearance each side could be measured in mm with a micrometer, but it is in. Trouble is, twisting it round in the cradle meant that if we up-ended it, it would be onto just one leg, and assuming the leg was strong enough to take the levering forces that entails, it won't be the most stable of lifting jobs... So, the tank had to be re-twisted back to where it was, and that is where we are now - the tank is in, ready for hoisting upright by whatever manner we come up with before Monday. The aforementioned Rob has an idea involving a lot of timber, and so we will be trying it out. As for me, I am going to spend the next few nights in much the same way as those over the last week. I will wake at 3am with a brilliant idea, so simple and cunning that even Blackadder himself would be proud. And then, 15 minutes later, when I really have woken up, I will have to reluctantly admit that the plan has a flaw. Unless of course anyone can help me source 13 inflatable flat caps, 2 dozen blocks of 4 x 2 tea bags, 5 elastic golf bats, two brace of magnetic squirrels and a telescopic brewery roof.
But, on a positive note, it's a good looking tank, and should be able to do us proud for more years than I'll be caring about!
